Submissive Writing Challenge #1

Our Dominants teach us so much about ourselves. What is something you’ve taught your Dominant?

Sleepless and away from home

Sometimes it feels like a passing phase, this thing called masochisim. There are times when it is placed so far back into the depths of my mind, that I completely forget that I enjoy the burn, sting, and pain of certain things.

Dark Secrets and Communication

Having someone know some of your deep, dark secrets can be a comforting thing. Some times, not so much. Monster knows mine. I don't think there is a secret I haven't shared with him. He's so easy to just talk to that I don't guard what I say. A long time ago I shared one of my childhood secrets, after a comment my mom made. The kind of silly thing that kids wish for when they're little, only to be embarrassed about it later.

Getting Past Perfection

Hugh Mackay said, "Actually, I can't imagine anything more tedious than a perfect person, especially if it was someone who also demanded perfection from me.":I love this quote. For me it truly expresses how I feel about perfection.

I see what you did there...

I have nothing to really write about besides the fact that I have managed to grow flowers. For me, that's huge! My mom noticed when she came for a visit. That's saying something. She was suprised they weren't brown and spindly. I am too. Mostly because they were on the brink and half-off at the store. But I have really dedicated myself to these silly flowers. It was actually something Monster said I had to do. Take care of the flowers, he says. Take care of the flowers I have done. All my devotion to these stinkin flowers has led to healthy little plants. They're beautiful and bushy and they cheer me up.

My Scars and Me

Scars. Everyone has them. Whether they are physical or emotional scars. The physical presence will spark reminders. The emotional ones may never be noticed. Some scars may be constant reminders, some may have fond memories. I have scars that can make me smile when I see them. Some remind me of difficult times.

Thoughts on being ignored

Here lately I have noticed a trend on FetLife. It comes up every so often with new waves of people joining in group discussions there. The trend: Ignoring as a form of punishment.

Love's Healing & Losing My Littles

Well, I haven't totally lost *all* my little sides. The main one, the 16 ish side, she is still there. Still a big mouth. And still taking the reins 90% of the time. But the littler ones, they just aren't there. The odd thing is...I'm not sad or scared or any other negative thought/feeling. I know if I lost my biggest little side, I would probably flip. Since it is the one in command most of the time. She is one that even my family knows about and accept. They don't know the full extent of her, but they don't bat an eye when it shows. So I feel...nothing, about the others. Maybe they will show up, maybe they won't, but I am not stressing myself over the loss.

Even When I'm Crazy

Warning: This isn't a pretty post. There's some touchy stuff involved and might be trigger-ish for some. I have an entry that I want to add on here and it refrences to situations like this. I am really reluctant to post this, but it helps prove my point in an upcoming post. So read at your own risk.

The girl I was...

*Warning: This is going to be long**

The girl I was five years ago… Was broken. She had no hope left, but that which was placed in her son. Faith was an illusion. Not religiously, but faith in people. She had open wounds that felt as though they would never heal. Her mind was a pit of darkness that seemed everlasting She went through her days in a fog. Going with the motions, pretending that inside she wasn’t burning alive. She agreed when people told her “it’s for the better”, “you deserved better”, and the oh so famous, “you don’t need a man to be happy”. At the time she didn’t realize, that indeed, it was “for the best”.