Physical or Mental?

This is a debate I have had with myself for several years. Which pulls me in more, the physical or mental stimulation from…well BDSM in general.

On a completely mental level, I shiver at the thought of being His. His play thing, His ragdoll, His little girl, His… everything. I don't need words or touches. I go all silly in the head when I think of all the things we have done and will do. I get dreamy and floaty. In a sexual sense, there are times when he doesnt even have to touch me to get my girly bits going. He just has to whisper three words in my ear… You. Are. Mine. Thats all it takes and I am falling over that edge into a world of sheer bliss.

In play, before I even feel that first kiss of a flogger, burn from the paddle, rope touching my skin, or whatever else we have decided to use…I'm already tottering on that edge. My mind runs away from me. After all the play is done, my mind feels that release. Its clearer, more focused.

Then there is the physical. The caresses, the pats on the bum, the hair pulling…yeah those suck me in quick. That hand on my girly bits when he reminds me of just who it belongs to. Those strong arms around me when he knows I need them. The looks I get, and believe me, there are many. They all cause physical reactions. The look that says, if it weren't for the people here, I would throw you over (insert random piece of furniture) and have my way with you. It makes my body tingle and begin to yearn. The look that says keep pushing my buttons and you're in trouble. That look, oh that look. It makes my knees weak, my heart flutter, and my palms begin to sweat. Every look, sets off different reactions in my body.

When we play and I feel that very first bit of rope touch me, an eager anticipation begins. My skin pricks and my heart races. After I'm all tied up like his very own little marionette, the physical effects aren't easily hidden. Then that first moment when leather tails meet tender skin. Oh sweet pickles is it a magnificent feeling. That bite and burn, that slowly turns to a tingle, then fades into a feeling like no other. My skin feels…revitalized and sooo deliciously tender. The more he does, the more my skin begins to buzz. I feel the sizzle, burn of freshly tenderized skin. The glowing red marks that burn when touched, send shivers down my body. The sweat that pools off of goosebumpy skin. The langiud feeling that washes over my entire body. The house could be swept up in a tornado and I wouldnt care. That physical-ness, causes my mind to explode.

So which is more of a pull? Each kiss of pain washes over my body, but it also clears my head. Which is a stronger pull for me? I couldn't have one without the other. So I guess, it's a pretty even pull. It's as much of a physical stimulation as it is a mental one.

Originally Written: Jan. 2011