Monday, May 28, 2012

Getting Past Perfection

Hugh Mackay said, "Actually, I can't imagine anything more tedious than a perfect person, especially if it was someone who also demanded perfection from me.":I love this quote. For me it truly expresses how I feel about perfection.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Chosen Family

Earlier this evening I ran across a sentence on the lovely June's blog. At the bottom of the post it said, thanks for being a part of our chosen family.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

A Poem For Daddy

Sitting in the floor crying
Desperately wanting something more
She's so sick of trying
Just can't take anymore

The constant self doubt and never ending fears
Emerging from deep down
Bringing with them all her tears
In her own ocean, she may drown

Struggling to break free
To rise above the pain
Her scream a never ending plea
Bound by her own chain

In the darkness, she found her light
He gave his hand and broke her free
Promising everything would be alright
To that little girl inside of me

Friday, May 25, 2012

Thoughts on "Topping From The Bottom"

I said in my last post that I might write about "topping from the bottom." Monster read my last post and we got to talking about TFTB. So while it's still fresh in my mind, I'm gonna get it all written down.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Am I doing submission wrong?

Last night/early this morning I stumbled upon a thread on Fetlife. I was up, unable to sleep, and trying to read my way into dreamland. This thread really caught my attention and had the reverse effect. I stayed up for over an hour reading through all the comments. Amazing, since if it's a thread I stumble upon, because I normally just skim those. Maybe it was my sleep deprived state, maybe it was the topic itself; whatever it was, I found myself clicking through page after page.

30 Days of Submission: Day Nine

I have done horribly with keeping up with this journal prompt.
    Do you accept and/or expect structure, rules and limits as a part of your submission? How do you feel about them?

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Yeah, defiance pays off...

I have been a baaaaad girl. My headspace has been so...craptastic here lately. Not really at my best, but not at my worst either. Just kinda gritchy and defiant.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012


Today, I wish I could go to bed and start over. I really do. Everything started out normal. It's Dr.'s appointment day. So Monster will be gone until later today. Which isn't out of the ordinary. But today it feels monumental.

Monday, May 14, 2012

I see what you did there...

I have nothing to really write about besides the fact that I have managed to grow flowers. For me, that's huge! My mom noticed when she came for a visit. That's saying something. She was suprised they weren't brown and spindly. I am too. Mostly because they were on the brink and half-off at the store. But I have really dedicated myself to these silly flowers. It was actually something Monster said I had to do. Take care of the flowers, he says. Take care of the flowers I have done. All my devotion to these stinkin flowers has led to healthy little plants. They're beautiful and bushy and they cheer me up.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

30 Days of Submission: Day Eight

Is spanking or corporal punishment a part of your submission? Why or why not?

Yes and no. Yes, because sometimes they help to get me in that mindset. No, because they could be left out and I would still be submissive towards Monster. I need spankings to center me. Keep me clear headed.

My Scars and Me

Scars. Everyone has them. Whether they are physical or emotional scars. The physical presence will spark reminders. The emotional ones may never be noticed. Some scars may be constant reminders, some may have fond memories. I have scars that can make me smile when I see them. Some remind me of difficult times.
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