Thursday, May 24, 2012

Am I doing submission wrong?

Last night/early this morning I stumbled upon a thread on Fetlife. I was up, unable to sleep, and trying to read my way into dreamland. This thread really caught my attention and had the reverse effect. I stayed up for over an hour reading through all the comments. Amazing, since if it's a thread I stumble upon, because I normally just skim those. Maybe it was my sleep deprived state, maybe it was the topic itself; whatever it was, I found myself clicking through page after page.

Any person that knows me, knows I am a bratty, smart-mouthed, maschistic, defiantly deviant little girl. They also know that Monster loves this about me. I know I have written about being a brat before, but this thread got me thinking. It was asking for people's opinions on brats. At first, it started out with a split. Those for and those against. Those that despise brats and those that love brats. Both sides equally valid in their opinions. There was one however, that thought if a "girl" was bratty, she was in no way submissive. Another said it was "topping from the bottom" (TFTB). And another said it was a way to act out for attention and was caused from a lack of communication skills. These comments really got me thinking. They really did.

So, I am gonna share some of my thoughts on the above comments. Starting off with what a brat is. No matter where you look, you will find some variation of the following:

    Brat - An ill-mannered, annoying, impudent child or an immature adult.

Not very flattering qualities. Right?

To me, a brat is someone that is mischievous, defiant, and a little bit silly. I have always been called a brat. Not just by Monster, but friends and family as well. I don't think it is as a derogatory term that some people do. The responses from the pro-brat side all seemed to flow with my way of thinking. So maybe, technically, brat is the wrong term? But it has been used for years as something different from it's original definition. Sounds like a lot of other BDSM-y terms, doesn't it? But still, I do consider myself a brat.

When it comes to the whole equation of "brat=non-submissive", I have to disagree. Whole-heartedly. There is absolutely, positively no doubt on who wears the pants in our house. Monster is the boss, plain and simple. I am his, I follow his command. *Keyword here is - HIS* Just because I might challenge him, play tricks on him, or even tell him no; does not mean I am not submissive to HIM. We have our own recipe for our relationship. Our tastes are all we have to satisfy. I don't defer to the masses, I bend to his will. His and his alone. I don't see how my brattiness makes me not submissive to him.

As for lack of communication and crying out for attention. That's so laughable, it's not even funny. Those who know us, knows there is no communication deficiencies between us. We talk, maybe sometimes about more than we should. We share everything, even the gross stuff, just because we gotta share with each other. I am not crying out for attention either. I get attention. A lot of it. He's an awesome multi-tasker like that. Whether I brat or not, he fills my attention bucket to over-flowing.

And lastly, the oh so lovely, topping from the bottom. I have been blamed for this on numerous occasions. Not by Monster, but by others on FetLife or CollarMe (waaay back in thr CM days). This topic could seriously be a post in and of itself. Maybe I will write one, one day. I haz strong opinions on TFTB. Coincidently, this was a hot topic on that thread. Again "pro-brats" denying, "the con-ers" agreeing. To me, topping from the bottom happens when said Dom allows it to happen (I have other opinions on this, but we'll just go with this). For us, if Monster doesn't want something to happen, it won't. I can push, pull, crash, bang, slam, and stomp all I want. If he says no go, it's a no go. It won't matter what I do. Period. The. End. I really don't believe in such a thing as TFTB.

What I think is that, there are some out there that like to exercise their Dominant muscles and brats give them that opportunity or outlet. Some don't like brats. Some do. Some don't like being bratty. Some do. Does me being bratty make me less submissive? Maybe through the eyes of the rest of the world, but not to Monster. Am I doing submission wrong? No, because what I do, Monster enjoys. Does all this really matter? Ha, no, not really. People like what they like. And not everyone agrees on everything. This was just something that was running through my head.


  1. I don't really consider you a brat. I consider you to be mischievous, so does my Daddy. Sometimes I feel like I have been less than I should be & apologize for being bratty, and I get one of two responses. You're not being bratty - you just need your Daddy (anxiety-based), or you're not bratty, just mischievous (fun=based). I see some brats on Fet - I find then disobedient, mouthy and disrespectful. Even when you 'mouth off' to Monster, it is with the utmost respect - you never cross the line.

    1. Lol, thanks. I'm just really used to being called a brat. Maybe my idea is influenced by the fact that brat has always been used as a term of endearment? Like, "hahaha, you're such a brat," *hair ruffle and butt slap*. I'm Daddy's brat.

      I've seen oodles and gobs of disrepectful girlies on FL and to me they are a different word. One I would get spanx for sayin'. Lol.


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