Monday, May 28, 2012

Getting Past Perfection

Hugh Mackay said, "Actually, I can't imagine anything more tedious than a perfect person, especially if it was someone who also demanded perfection from me.":I love this quote. For me it truly expresses how I feel about perfection.

I have no belief in this ideal myth called perfection. I believe that to be perfect, you must have faults and flaws and own up to them. I believe that perfection is an impossible standard to try and live by. I know I am nowhere near perfect and I love that about myself. Monster isn't perfect and never strives to be, this is what I love about him.

I was talking with a friend that is having issues with her D. There was a repeated theme of perfection. I was so torn between not wanting to upset her and maybe disrespecting him by respondng with an all-caps "Nobody's Perfect and those that feel they are, are only deluding themselves" response. And a, "well hope it works out" response. I'm not so great with subtly when it comes to certain things and find it hard to find that in-between. Failure on my part, I went with the well wishes. *facepalm*

Here's the thing...
In my eyes, no one is perfect and I mistrust those that feel they are perfect or have to be perfect. I mistrust those that expect others to be perfect. If we can't at least admit our faults and failures to ourselves, how are we to be the best we can be? If we place so much emphasis on no disappointments and not failing, how are we to grow and learn? Where did this idea come from that all Doms/Masters/Daddies are perfect because they are the leaders? Is that setting a good example for those they are in charge of?

I was given the excuse that males, by nature, think they are perfect. It made me sad to see this an okay reason for non-communication. Monster on the other hand, was a little offended on multiple levels. One for being male and two for beng a Dom and lumped into a category he wants nothing to do with. I don't blame him. I don't want to be a part of that category. In my experince, some people, by nature think they are perfect. Those people often become defensive when their perfection is put into question. Male and female, it can affect both sexes. Dom or submissive. Just because a submissive agrees to be led by someone, does not mean that Dom is perfection personified. The idea of perfection and being perfect can destroy a relationship. Even more so, when the sub fears pointing out a failure in the system. Fear of disappointing, is a big fear for me, but I do know any time I have to have a neutral talk, Monster will give me my soapbox. We learn from those talks, we grow as a couple, and our bigger picture becomes a whole lot clearer. Getting past perfection, hard, but worth the effort.

And ya know, a Dom that embraces and admits imperfection is a sexy creature.


  1. Mmmmmhmmmm - I tell Daddy he's perfect for me & he says, I'm glad you think so. I hope that I can be the man that you need. Good golly, who could need more than that?

    We all know that I am perfectly imperfect,no hopes of being more. But I hope to be what he needs.

    I think there is no real perfection, but striving to be better for the other person - well that is where perfection comes in - not in entities, but in efforts.

    1. "I think there is no real perfection, but striving to be better for the other person - well that is where perfection comes in - not in entities, but in efforts."

      And you summed up my verbal spewage. Lol. That's exactly it.

      I tell Monster, he's not perfect but he's perfect for me. He tells me he just does his best and that's all he can ask of me. He says my flaws are what make me the girl he loves.

  2. I agree with you on pretty much everything you say. I am cautious with people who speak about thing being perfect, their partners being perfect, etc.

    I believe in imperfection, and the beauty of it.

  3. I used to strive for perfection...Now my idea of perfection is being perfect for him. Because he is perfect for me. And that is what really matters.

    Without our individual flaws we would all be the same. And that would be ridiculously boring.


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