Saturday, April 21, 2012

Quiet Self Reflection Time #1

I have had time to myself to think, something the Monster Man likes to call quiet self reflection time, and I realized a few things. Some of them are just silly little things and others are bigger.

The first thing is a little silly, but it seems to really show my mindset most of the time. I am a fully functioning adult. I can take charge when I need to, make sure things are done…right and be responsible. I am mature. It's something I have always been told. I’m old for my age. I don’t think the way people my age do. Then the people telling me these things can turn around and tell me that I remind them of a little kid. Sometimes that makes me feel like I am living a double life. I know a lot of my friends and family think of me as “Momma Hen”. In a way I am. I protect mine. I love and nurture. I am always willing to listen to someone’s problems and help them work them out. I get stuff taken care of.

Then I have this whole other side that feels like I’m playing house.

Chores are just playtime. We are just the anatomically correct dolls for some ginormous kid. I have no real responsibility, no pressing issues that bring me down, nothing telling me I need to grow up. I have no worries. I look to my Monster for the guidance on what to do, who to be, what’s right and what’s wrong. This side of me will never grow up. It’s all sunshine and lollipops.

These two parts blend and twist and form one person. The mature lady with a husband, kids, and a home to tend to. The little girl whose biggest problem is pigtails or french braids.

They don’t always live harmoniously, but together they make one…interesting person. There are some times when one wants to override the other. Call the shots from the wrong perspective. There’s not two separates, there’s one whole…albeit a screwy whole, but whole nonetheless.

Both of these parts needs her Daddy Monster. Needs his support, his love, his presence, his gentle guidance. His natural Daddying ways to make sure the path is followed. Bumps and turns are all okay, but he makes sure I stay on the right path to the bigger picture. He helps make the right decisions and backs me up. He’s there for me to lean on when things get to hard. He supports me in ways that no other person ever has. I need him, everything in me needs him.

I just saw a puppy and my mind went off track. :p


  1. LOL - ohhhhh, a shiny! I have those moments all the time!

    Here's a question/thought - I am the same way, mothering, caretaking, gathering all the strays (people, children and animals) & caring for them, speaking up for them. Do you think we do that because no one did that for us?

  2. You know, that's a really good question. I have never really thought of it in that way. Could very well be a by-product of it. Good thinking. :)


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