Monday, April 23, 2012

30 Days of Submission: Day Three

    How do you know you are submissive or have the potential to be submissive? How do you feel when you express your submission?

Hmmm, honestly, I never thought I was really all that submissive. I liked making people happy, didn't like being in charge, but I never considered it a submissive trait. When we first started talking and Monster talked about D/s...well, I just laughed and told him not to expect that from me. After a while, I realized, ha, maybe I am a little. With him, it's different. I want to defer to him. I want to please him. I want to be his girl.

He is the one that saw my potential as a submissive. He is the one that helped me see it as a strength and not a weakness. I did have issues with submission. It was mostly from the jacked up things that you see out of context. He showed me sites to read through and recommened books for me to read, fiction and non-fiction, that really opened my eyes.

Now five years after the fact, I have embraced that part of my personality. Without being able to submit in even the smallest way I feel stifled. Even when it's just fixing Monster's plate and serving him a meal. Without those small acts of submission my head gets a tad wonky. When I am able lay myself out for him and give him my all. I feel free and happy and satisfied. Complete.


  1. I have always been this way. For me it's the fact that Daddy accepts my submission, and cherishes it, cherishes me. I've never had that. It was always draining, never replenishing. With Ward, it is reciprocal and I want to give him everything.

    1. I envy that. For me, submission wasn't a strength to draw from. I had to put on my game face. Every day. Show no weakness. Was I taken advantage of when it showed? Absolutely, so I tried to be what I wasn't so I could deal. Making others happy, putting other peoples needs over mine, it killed my spirit frequently. Because it wasn't seen as anything other than my ultimate weakness. With Monster it took that trust and respect to set it free. To let go and say, "you've got this. We're good. You take the reins, I trust your direction."


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