Baby Fever

Today is Monster's birthday. He turned 35. Midway to forty! O_O

Okay, so it's not really that big of a... thing. Being forty. But I like to tease him about the fact that he's older than I am. Today, he's dealing. He keeps saying, "I'm thirty-five" in this mystified tone. It's quite cute to see and hear.

There were so many things that he wanted to have happened by thirty five. It's also the limit we put on having another kid. Or maybe it was me turning thirty-five that was the limit... I can't remember. Oh well, the number doesn't change, just the person. On second thought, maybe it was me turning thirty-five...

Oh who cares! The point, and there is one to this post, is babies.

When we first got together, I was pretty adamant on not wanting another kid. I didn't want to be that woman that had a bunch of babies with different daddies. Through the years, that thought changed and morphed and pretty soon, I started thinking, what-if.

What if we did have a kid? With his pretty eyes and my dark hair. His brains and my deviousness. His stubborness and my temper. Yikes, that would be a dangerous kid! It never really went past random thoughts now and then.

But the past couple of months, we've both made off-hand comments about having another baby. It got worse after we got my blood-pressure issue worked out. The doctor's didn't rule out pregnancy completely, just until we got it under control. Since my birthday last week and his this week, I believe we have come down with a serious case of baby fever.

Will anything come of it? Probably not, much to our youngest's disappointment. I can sit here and run through all the reasons why we won't, and not a single one of them really makes sense. They are more excuses than anything else.

They're too expensive.

We're too old.

That's too many kids.

What really stops me, is fear. The fear of miscarrying.

That's what really stops me from looking at him and saying, "Monster Man, I think we need to try for a fourth."

And I don't know if that fear will keep us from trying. We're both pretty baby crazy at the moment and right now, if Monster said anything, I would probably make the appointment to have my IUD removed. ASAP.